句子中的动作要用动词表达

大多数的句子都描述某种动作,而且读者希望这个动作可以由句子中的动词来表达。如果句子的动作表达不明显,或是句子的动作未用动词表达,而是藏在名词之中,那么就会很难知道句子的动作究竟是什么。 例如:

After etching, a decrease was observed in the intensity of the Si(2s), Si(2p), and C(1S)peaks, but an increase was observed in the intensity of the O(2p) and O(1s) peaks at 103．4 and 531．6eV． This may be because of removal of undesired crystallites and oxidation of the silicon due to a mixture of nitric acid (HNO3) and hydrofluoric acid (HF), which resulted in the formation of silicon oxide． At low HF and high HNO3 concentrations, the etching rate is HFdependent, evidently because HF causes the removal of SiO2 during SiO2 formation．

这段文字意思表达明确,但是不够清楚直接。 在第一个句子中,句子动作藏在名词a decrease 和an increase 之中,没有用每个子句的动词清楚地表达出来。 后几句基本都用的是弱动词,同时这些动词也没有表达出具体的动作。 因此,修改如下:(www.xing528.com)

After etching, the intensity of the Si(2s), Si(2p), and C(1S) peaks decreased,but the intensity of the O(2p) and O(1s) peaks at 103．4 and 531．6eV increased． This may be because a mixture of nitric acid (HNO3) and hydrofluoric acid (HF) removed undesired crystallites and caused the silicon to oxidize,forming silicon oxide． At low HF and high HNO3 concentrations,the amount of HF available determines the etching rate, evidently because HF removes SiO2 as it forms．

这里,我们把第一个句子改成主动语态,用动词decreased 和increased 来取代冗长的被动结构a decrease is observed 和an increase is observed。 在第二个句子中,用动词remove 及caused … to oxidize 来取代名词removal 和oxidation,用动词forming 取代resulted in the formation of。